Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Oh, My Little Blog

I've been thinking long and hard about this little blog recently...fact of the matter is, I've been super busy and just don't have the time to dedicate to it that I did when I first started writing here. So, I've thought about what to do and I made my decision.

I'm keeping it...inconsistent writing and all.

First of all, I love this blog, and getting rid of it breaks a little part of my heart. So, since there's no need to get rid of it, I'm not.

Second of all, I'm going to give myself a break...from perfection.

Y'all may not know this about me, but I'm a bit of a perfectionist. It's caused a real challenge in my blogging. What I started blogging here, I did it because I enjoyed it and it was fun, but then I got bogged down in the gritty underbelly of blogging - the part that tells you how to be a "good" blogger, and I lost my way. No longer did I just write because I enjoyed it, but I was concerned about followers and statistics and should I buy an ad on another blog and all the other stuff that blogging can focus on. So, now that my life is busy and I can't and won't dedicate the time to this blog that I used to, I feel guilty. But, I've said, "no more!"

Well, I've said, "try to give yourself a break and move on from the perfection and enjoy what you can...some is better than none, right?" Which my brain hears as "you're not perfect and that makes you a failure, look at your failure of a blog."

Another fact about me: I can be really mean to myself...I've gotten a lot better over the years, but I still say some pretty mean things to myself...God and I are working on that...but it's slow coming...which I remind myself that slow change is real, transformative change...but then my perfectionist tendencies rear their ugly head again...ah, it's a vicious cycle.

Anywho, all of this boils down to, this blog is going to become a challenge in accepting me for who I am and what I can do. I want to blog here, but you might get some off the wall stuff because fact of the matter is, school is a LOT this semester.

On that note, let's have an update on school, mkay?

School is crazy...I'm taking 19 hours and I actually intend to do it. Last semester I signed up for 19 hours but the process of moving saw not one but 2 casualties of war (and let's face it, moving is truly akin to war. Don't believe me...fine). So, the goal is to take 19 hours this semester...biology, Spanish 2, Criminology, Sociological Theory, Women in American history, and Social Statistics (one of last semester's casualties). So far, so good.

Biology - not too bad, it's for non-science majors and that means just a lecture no lab (can I get an Amen?!). I have that on Tuesday nights only and about 5 blocks from home. It's pretty awesome.

Spanish 2 - Ah, Spanish, I actually am glad I switched back to Spanish from French. It's so easy saying I took 3 years of it in high school. It makes these 19 hours a bit easier to handle.

Criminology - Seriously, interesting. A lot of reading, but not the most reading intensive class I have this semester. And I like the professor too, which is good.

Sociological theory - It's a required class for sociology majors and really something I should have taken semesters ago. It really would have made some of my other classes easier. Oh well, live and learn (although I'm not quite sure when I will get to apply this knowledge...)

Women in American History - I'm enjoying it thus far and I think we're going to have some great readings. If all goes well and I can take one more history class next semester this will allow me a minor in history. Why do I care about a minor? I don't know...

Social Statistics - Please, note the statistics not the social part of that...I missed the statistics part last semester and was totally unprepared for a math class. This semester is going to be better...my expectations are right!

So, that's a quick break down of all of that. Other than that, life is great. Hubs is busy with law school. Way busy. and I've finally just about got us settled into our apartment. Hopefully soon I can take you on a tour of the place and tell you all about it. Including my mad skills hanging chandeliers...

Alright...so conclusion: 1) This isn't a promise to return to blogging regularly, just to hold on by the seat of my pants and hope for the best. 2) School. Escuela. 19 hours, no sanity for me. 3) Apartment life is great and I'm totally in love with our home and my new chandelier. Especially the chandelier (for which my body is still paying the price for installing). 4) This is a promise to love myself more and try to share with you when I can. I miss this little part of my life and can't wait to talk to y'all again, whenever that may be.

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