Monday, December 12, 2011

I'm Home

After a long week, I'm home.

This trip was hard. Saying good-bye to my Grandma was so sad. But, in everything there is silver lining. And this was no exception.

On this trip I got to really spend some time with several of my cousins. With 15 cousins, sometimes it's hard to really get to talk and know each other. But this trip was different. I spent time actually talking to some of my cousins and getting to know them. It was such a great experience.

Tricia, Amanda & Me
I am one of three cousins born within about 9 months of each other, I'm in the middle and Tricia is almost exactly 6 months older than me! It was so much fun to get to talk to her. I learned so much about her that I never knew!

I also got to hang out more with Amanda. I hung out with her when we made our trip in October and spending more time with her was great. I really am enjoying getting a chance to know her better. She was pretty annoying about 5 years ago, but these past couple of trips she has become quite fun to hang out with!!

I also enjoyed getting the chance to hang out with my Mamaw and Grandaddy. I wasn't my most social self on this trip (understandably) but it was still good to get to spend some time with them. As I've said before, they are really the ones who instilled a love of traveling in me and so I always enjoy the chance to travel with them. This was the first road trip I've taken with them in years. It was such a pleasure to do!

In my post about the drive up, I let y'all know about my first anxiety attack. I had a second one the day after we got to Cleveland. My wonderful hubby made the best decision ever that day. He decided that we would rent a car for the remainder of our stay in Cleveland. It wasn't money we planned to spend, but it really made a big difference in my peace of mind up there. I still couldn't drive, but just knowing we had a car helped me so much.

You see, we had different places to be and different times to be there from my Grandparents. It made things so much easier to be able to go where we wanted/needed when we wanted/needed. It really helped make the whole experience better.

Now, I'm going to talk about the funeral some. This is my journal of sorts, and I understand if you don't want to read this. Please feel free to skip it if you want. I just want to have these thoughts written down somewhere.

On Thursday was my Grandma's viewing and Friday was her funeral. My Grandma was Catholic and I had never been to a Catholic funeral before Friday. Now, I grew up Assembly of God and non-denomenational. And I have been to many of those funerals and so those would be thought to be the most comforting services to me. But, I found something very comforting in the Catholic funeral. The structure, the ritual of it. It's hard to explain. I guess I appreciate the solemness of the of Catholic funeral for this particular situation.

I was honored to be asked to present the elements of communion to the priest at the funeral. While it was a sad day, I appreciate that I was able to participate in the service.

After the mass, we drove to the graveside for the final prayer and to say our final goodbyes. It was so cold out. It made it extremely difficult to really focus on what was going on. I had decided to wear a dress and tights for the funeral. But outside, I was just too cold. My legs were frozen. I had considered wearing pants for the funeral and in hindsight I would have switched the outfits for the funeral and the viewing.

Finally I left a hot pink carnation on her casket. This flower was special for me to pick as I had used that same color at our wedding which she was able to come to. It might seem crazy that that made it more special to me, but it did.

So, that's thelast of the sad posts fo now. I just wanted the memories of this trip recorded somewhere...


Bibi said...

Thanks for sharing. Saying Goodbye is never easy. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Melissa said...

Funerals are so hard. I am glad you were able to participate in the service, & that y'all rented a car. And yay for getting to know some cousins better! :)

I also grew up nondenominational & was surprised how much I loved the service of my sister's wedding! The priest's words during the ceremony were some of the best I've heard! I know it's a completely different situation than a funeral, though.

k.elizabeth said...

Thanks for sharing your heart on your blog my dear. I have been praying for you! I am glad you were able to find the silver lining in this with getting to know your cousins...sad that it sometimes takes a funeral to get everyone together! It was the same when my grandpa died.

If you ever need to chat, I am just a tweet (or DM/email) away. *hugs*

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