Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Another Post Where I'm Honest

Y'all, I'm going to tell you something about me.

I love blogging. It's great, but I struggle with leaving comments and sending out responses on twitter.

And here's why:

I'm always worried that other people/bloggers won't like me.

Seriously, I write a ton of comments and replies on twitter and then don't post them.

Now, y'all aren't the problem. Y'all are wonderful and you always say the nicest things and are so sweet. Seriously. It's not you, it's me. (How cliche is that?)

You see, I've been judged a lot in my life. And I was made fun of a lot in school. And maybe everyone else was too but, I was just never well equiped to deal with it. You see, I'm a people pleaser by nature. I'll do things I don't like to do and go places I don't want to go, and overall just bend over backwards if I think it will make someone happy. I'll do it even when it makes me unhappy. It's kind of my default setting.

And, where my people pleasing drops off is where my fear of rejection comes in. So, I spend too much time worrying about what others think of me. And a lot of this just makes me socially awkward.

Like the times when I get nervous around people and then what I call vomit mouth starts. Seriously, I start talking and my filter turns off. And I say something I don't want to say or shouldn't say. And, it's generally not something wrong per se. It's more like the time I started talking all about my plans for a party to someone who wasn't invited.

So, these are my struggles. I'm a lot better than I used to be about this (seriously, I never would have written this post in the past) but, I still struggle with it.

So, I wanted y'all to know this. I wanted you to know why I don't comment as much as I would like. And, since y'all are so awesome, I was hoping for maybe just a little encouragement...and a few ideas to help me get just a little better this!


Kathryn said...

I am 100% the same way!

Jessica Renee said...

I'm also the same way, I've always been really shy and afraid of rejection..But I finally decided to just go ahead and be me knowing that people will either like me or not. By finally getting involved on others blogs and on Twitter, I've made so many good blog friends that the ones that blow me off don't even bother me! You can do it! :)

Asha said...

Blogging is so much fun because you get to speak your heart, if a few people don't like you it's no big deal. It's not like you ever have to see them again :) Plus, you are a great blogger so have no fear! That's also why I'm following you. Hope you'll follow back!

Melissa said...

Girl, I think a lot of this are like this. I am, for sure. I mean, I do still comment & such on blogs & sometimes I worry what they'll think of me. I feel like I've changed a little & don't care as much what other people think like I used to. BUT i am a people pleaser by nature, so it's definitely something I struggle with!

HUGS! (And, i like you!)

Melissa said...

A lot of *us* are like this. Sorry - Did i mention i don't proof read until it's too late!? ;)

k.elizabeth said...

I am right there with you gals!! Blogging is really helping to give me an outlet for the things I want to say but am scared to. I have had to learn to think before I post and that has helped me in "real-life" conversations too...just the reminder to think. I just love getting nice and supportive comments on my page so I decided I wanted to try to hop around and encourage others if I could. Even something as simple as "I really like what you have to say" could really make a bloggers day. As a blogger, I just like to know that people stopped by! For me, it makes blogging more pro-active. I still get nervous sometimes (like right now I am wigging about this being a long comment) but the way I figure it, the chance of encouraging someone or even just making them smile is worth it!

Kathy S said...

I was the same way when I started blogging. I would type out comments and delete them because I figured they would be unwanted. Two things changed that for me and maybe it will help you as well.
1. I set a goal for myself each day. I started out saying I was going to comment on at least three blogs that day and slowly worked my way up until leaving a comment just became a natural response.
2. Whenever I worry about it now, I just stop and think, how would I feel if someone left a comment for me. And I never feel bad about getting a new comment, so I figure that person probably doesn't either. Everybody loves comments.

Mia Maree said...

I'm new to this whole blogging world, but in the short time I've done it, I've met some AWESOME people. I think a main reason a lot of people blog is to meet people and reach out to others. I like what everyone else said, if someone isn't so nice or whatever "they" may be....heck with them! You have a bunch of other bloggy friends that will always be here :-)

Bri Poster said...

Wow. I'm pretty sure you just captured my life in words. From people-pleasing to fear of rejection, I'm right there with you. Keep pressing on and take the chance to believe that you are worth more than you can see...

...because you are priceless!

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