Sunday, December 5, 2010

A Little About Our Journey (And a BIG Life Lesson)

I have imagined being married for a long time. Mr. B and I have been together for 5 years and were engaged for 4 years before we got married. There were many things we needed to learn before getting married and while waiting wasn't fun, sometimes, you have to wait.

Excuse me while I step on my soap box real quick. (Steps up.) Ok. There are 2 questions you should never, under any circumstances ask couples. 1) When are you getting married? 2) When are you having children? Why? You might ask. Simple, YOU never know the background story. A couple may need to wait to get married, or they might be having trouble getting pregnant. Either way, you can stir up some hard emotions. A word to the wise (and unwise), find another way to make conversation and mind your own business. It's happy news and they'll tell you when you need to know.

For probably 2 years of the 4 years Mr. B and I were engaged, the most heart-wrenching question I was EVER asked was "when are you to getting married?" We wanted desperately to get married. I dreamed of setting up our home, cooking dinner for him as my husband, setting up a registry, planning a wedding. I wondered how life would be when we could, and should, have sex. When we no longer had to consider how things would look, or what would cause a temptation that might be too hard to resist. More than anything, I looked forward to sleeping next to him at night and waking up next to him in the morning. I wanted to be married more than anything in the world. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

But, the timing wasn't right. And people, trying to make conversation or out of curiosity, would always ask us, when? It hurt, it was  struggle some days for us not to run off and elope. Only faith in God kept us from getting married. We knew the timing wasn't right. And, it hurt. Sometimes I couldn't watch "Say Yes to the Dress" or "27 Dresses" or anything with a wedding dress in it. It broke my heart. I wanted to be picking a dress, I wanted to be planning a wedding. And yet, I knew it wasn't right yet. And, it's too personal to tell someone else.

(Steps off soap box)

But, the beauty of the whole thing comes now. Now, I get the question, "how's married life?" and I can't help but grin ear to ear and show all of my excitement. I waited SO long and when it happened the time was RIGHT. So, when they ask, I can answer wholeheartedly. It means so much more. I can see him sleeping next to me as I write this post and tears come to my eyes. This is the husband I waited for, the husband I have sacrificed for, the husband who I love more than my own happiness. I understand the vows I took November 14, 2010 more than so many, I already gave so much to get there. And I appreciate what I have so much for it.

Today was my sister-in-law's baby shower and as part of the day, several people I only see on occasions such as these were offering me congratulations on getting married. It was amazing. I loved getting to answer the question, how's married life. Here's my answer:

After 3 weeks of marriage, it still kind of feels like a big slumber party. Much hasn't changed, he just sleeps here now. It's weird, in a good way! I'm loving it!


remes_a said...

Completely know what you mean. I'm so happy for you and your new hubby. so, when are yall planning on kids? (lol just kidding!!)

Anonymous said...

LOL! Yes those are the two most annoying questions. I am so happy for you and I am so glad everything fell in to place.

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